i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
