he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize