cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
