Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
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