shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
