why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
