I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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