We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
