My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I fill condoms, not promises.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Randomize
