like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
