dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
