at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
