your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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