I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I think people are normalizing furries
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I had to cum in my sink.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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