belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Sorry about my life...
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
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