Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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