ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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