There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
