i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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