I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
