Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
