All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
