Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
