I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize