jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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