you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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