I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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