so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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