A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Ladies don't puke and tell
as a side note pls kill me
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Randomize