My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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