That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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