Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
