from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Farmville is her only friend.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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