Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
