would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Randomize
