I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
