drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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