Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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