Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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