I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
