peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Randomize
