hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
only you would photoshop your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
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