Will you blow on my dice?
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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