i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
Randomize
