We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
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