She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
