I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
