I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
handjob tips. give me some.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Randomize