If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
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i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
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For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize