also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Randomize
