guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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