Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
