Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
