cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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