i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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