Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
