so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
