if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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