ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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