i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I can't turn off my feet"
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
