I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
