Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize